Handmade Journals

For J's birthday I made him two journals covered in paper he made in one of his art classes a CCS. The red journal has details constructed from my grandmother's rag balls.

Peach Blossom Land

I started this project and then put it down (twice)because the creative fire in my belly died out. Recently a few hot embers ignited the internal fire to finish the project as best I could.

My former students helped with the set design. The video is a "drama" but it has it's comedic elements. The point of producing the little film was to demonstrate Movie maker to students as a fun way to inform an audience about their interests and learning.

I began by selecting a story which I could easily visualize in my head. I determined the number of scenery and characters I would need. Then began sketching out a story board. I decided to use 3D and 2D illustration, along with video. I didn't use stop action animation, rather I incorporated multiple scenes which provided more visual body for telling the story. Stop action would have been more appropriate if I was doing a short 30 second film.
The activity is a lesson in discipline and creative thinking. Creating the scenery and props took many hours (very fun work though), but the actual film is only four and a half minutes long. The process reminded me of preparing Thanksgiving dinner.

How I look at TV commercials changed during the process. I paid more attention to the "tricks" used for improving visual and content impact.

The film could be used to discuss: making short films using Movie maker, the meaning of the story, ethics in film making and more. Maybe I'll be able to teach this process to some willing students. I do need better filming equipment, however even with a rudimentary camera a charming film can be made.

Celebrating Alma's 100th Birthday

On Saturday I went to Alma's 100th birthday party. It was the first time I had been to a party for someone who is 100. I am so glad I was invited (even if it was by open house invitation announced in church), because I would have been sad to be left off the list. This was the birthday party of the year . . . even with J turning 30, Jake 25, and Kadie 21 this year.

Alma is in good health with limited vision and hearing but as you can see she is in good spirits. At 100 she isn't complaining about her health, she isn't gossiping and complaining about how other's live their life. Instead she is joyful, full of gratitude, and generous with expressions of kindness.

A week before her birthday I was in the back of church waiting for her to leave. I was so excited, "Alma you're 100! How wonderful! Happy Birthday!" Alma said, "Is this Heidi?" She recognized my voice! It was like being acknowledged by a Rock Star. I looked to Randy, "She knows it's me!"

It is Alma's gentleness, kindness, and faith, rather than her age, that puts her in the class of "superior people." And at her party she had a very long receiving line acknowledging her noble status.

Alma's party was the biggest birthday party I have ever been too. I heard that many guests had already left by the time we had arrived, and they were still coming when we were leaving. It warmed my heart to know that people, in this little part of the world, have the good sense to take time to celebrate what really should be celebrated- the long and well lived life of a lovely person.

Devastatingly Beautiful

On Sunday January 20th Lenawee County was hit with a fierce ice storm. Our power went out at 12:30 am, but we snuggled under the covers until morning. I’m addicted to coffee so much that my brain (cold or hot) doesn’t function well without it. So, after getting myself dressed Randy and I became a two person search party hoping to find a hot cup of Joe. YaY! Tim’s was open (that’s Tim Horton Coffee for those not familiar with the brand). Randy and I each got a giant cup and we drove around town discovering damage and making sure our old folks had heat.

The destruction caused by the ice storm was shocking and yet beautiful. Tree limbs and wires torn from their sockets glistened in a coating of diamond clear ice. Street after street was transformed by destruction that was at once horrible and beautiful.

The whole scene brought to mind a story I read many years ago, Sherwood Anderson’s, A Death in the Woods. The narrator recalls the shocking discovery of a woman’s half naked body found it the woods when he was a boy. In time the identity of the woman would be revealed, and the details of her life would be more troubling and tragic than the suspected natural cause of her death. The narrator would note that in spite of her middle age her body with “the snow, clinging to the frozen flesh . . . made it look so white and lovely, so like marble.” He remembers that her “shoulders were so narrow and the body so slight that in death it looked like the body of some charming young girl.”

These were the passages that stirred inside me. After all these years I am still contemplating how the pallor of death in certain instances (maybe for just a second) can appear lovely. That’s how it is here . . . mortally wounded trees looking strangely lovely.

I haven’t included images of those trees. Instead I have some pictures of my yard art suspended in ice. I don’t usually leave the trophy people out over the winter, but I am glad I did.









Now we wait. In 1892 Claude Monet created a series of paintings recording the thawing of the river Seine. The "La Debacle" was dramatic with its forceful sounds. There were reports that the sounds of the thawing ice were heard thirty miles away from the river.

I am anticipating that we will experience noisy sensations from thawing and falling ice. Even now when the wind blows the ice creaks and the branches groan. It is alarming and beautiful.

Silencing the Inner Critic

So I actually posted this entry once and then took it down because I was worried my audience wouldn’t understand the creative license I took in personify the different parts of my thought processes. Of course I’m talking about those other readers, not YOU. Anyway, if after reading this disclaimer you are still wondering if I’m “balanced” well I’m not (is that really a possibility for anyone?). I’m still working through loss, confusion, anger, insecurity . . . Not balanced, not centered. But be reassured I’m not outside my mind, yet. (Maybe getting outside would be helpful. Maybe I have a form of “mental cabin fever” for being in my head too much). Anyway, if you still feel doubtful about my emotional state after reading the following entry, don’t bother me with questions. Just talk behind my back. Okay?



Silencing the Inner Critic

It’s not that I am being really hard on myself and full of self-doubt. It’s just that it feels like the Inner Critic needs to be quieted so I can hear from someone or something else. The thing about Inner Critic, (the part I depend on most) is she keeps Her Highness Delusions of Grandeur in check. That’s not really her name, that‘s the one Inner Critic gives her. Her real name is High Hopes. I have loved HH, maybe too much; but the jealous Inner Critic keeps my affections in check.

These sisters, High Hopes and Inner Critic, know all my dreams. But for HH concealing my heart’s desires is a burden and I know there are times when she wants to sit under the interrogation light, inside the confessional, on the witness stand and reveal one little wish, just to see if someone would BELIEVE alongside us.

I suppose that’s what I love about intercessory prayers in church; some person had the courage to be completely vulnerable and admit a want or need. Someone brought a prayer, a secret wish – hope - desire, to the pastor so he would proclaim it OUTLOUD, to people – some who are nameless strangers, hoping someone would BELIEVE alongside them. I mean what are the odds that someone would BELIEVE in your dream when you’re not sure you believe in yourself?

Coming from a family who takes pride in providing FREE Supersized reality checks, blunt criticism, and condemnation I wouldn’t DARE assume anyone should, could or would BELIEVE alongside me. Or so Inner Critic reminds me.

Anyway, High Hopes has been quiet . . . because I don’t know what to want. I don’t know what to be. I don’t know what to do. It feels like dreaming is just that, transient images in my head without the vigor of ambition, an urgency to satisfy, the need to share. An emotional Bermuda Triangle. At night I'm awake, but the sky is overcast, no stars to follow.

In church prayers end with “if it BE Your will.”

God, show me where North is . . . (you say the rest)

Look In

I took some time to look "IN" the 2010 entry log and I decided to pick out my five favorite entries. These entries are good presentations of the spiritual journey I'm on.
December 30 ,2010 "Story." I like this entry because I don't often share examples of my fiction writing.
September 2, 2010 "Chair-ity." The chairs and essay were deeply satisfying work for me.
August 24, 2010 "The Sun Sets in the East." These moments can be explained by science, but whenever the setting sun light shines in through the east windows it feels miraculous.
June 28, 2010 "Time for an Un-controlled Joy." That hydrangea was a pretty powerful object lesson. I still am learning from it. I still struggle with doubts, but time just might correct some of that.
February 23, 2010 "Rainbow Frogs." I love to bring a little whimsy into the world.

This Magic Moment

There was a magic moment before sunrise on Wednesday. A heavy frost covered everything, it looked like diamond dust. Absolutely beautiful.

NYE Almost a Frat Party

Inspired by the Gieco Piggy we decided to rent a Wii for NYE. It was a wild time!!

Folks were feeling like hardcore partay-ers, see'em showing off their gang signs?

Dig the Sparty t-shirt?

A moment inspired by my story. Did you read it a few entries back? Good bye foul phone book!

Boys doing some Wii dancing, too funny. Jim wins the hipster award!

I threw some strong right punches.

I was knocked out!

Whatever!

Funny for those who won't dare get up and fight.